As Valentine’s Day approaches, many couples are starting to feel it in their pockets rather than in their hearts. Advertisements for jewelry, dining experiences, and gifts can make the day to celebrate love feel like a high-pressure sales pitch.
According to two psychology professors at the University of Victoria, this day does not have to be extravagant to be meaningful. Instead, they remind those in love to revisit their relationships and get a reality health check done.
Psychology professor Erica Woodin views Valentine’s Day as an opportunity rather than an obligation.
“I think it’s always a good thing when couples have time to think about their relationship and to spend time together, and maybe think about ways to nurture their relationship. From the perspective of somebody who works to support couples, I always think it’s a special time of year,” Woodin said.
According to Woodin, a couple can celebrate by planning a fun activity, taking a walk, cooking a meal together, or simply engaging in something both of them enjoy. She emphasizes that meaningful connection does not depend on spending a lot of money, but on creating experiences that create closeness.
She also highlights the role of open communication and revisiting how well the couple communicates with each other. She said that Valentine’s Day can be a useful moment for couples to talk about how their relationship is going, what they appreciate about each other, and what they might want to work on together. These conversations, she notes, can help couples address concerns early and prevent resentment from building over time.
One potential downside of Valentine’s Day, Woodin says, is the pressure to spend money. With constant marketing around expensive gifts and experiences, couples may feel stress rather than connection.
Her advice is for couples to focus on their shared values and financial comfort, prioritizing thoughtful and low-cost gestures.
Jessica Rourke is another professor of psychology who echoes the sentiments of Woodin and says Valentine’s Day can create unnecessary stress if expectations of the couple are not aligned.
She said that conflict can arise when one partner sees the day as unimportant while the other expects something special.
“I think it’s really important to have a conversation about Valentine’s Day before it arrives so that everyone in the relationship is on the same page. Otherwise, I think it can create a lot of disappointment if someone’s expecting something,” Rourke said.
She also highlighted that Valentine’s Day could be an opportunity for couples to sit down and revisit the relationship’s ups and downs.
“I think trying to do something meaningful, not just going out and spending money because you think that’s what you have to do. You don’t have to feel the pressure, ” she said.
Rourke also pointed out that the importance of Valentine’s Day varies by couple. For some, it is meaningful; for others, it is not. She notes that the day can serve as a reminder not to take people in our lives for granted, but it does not need to be celebrated in a traditional or expensive way.
Creating simple traditions, she explains, can be just as meaningful.
These traditions can be small, affordable, and personal, yet still become something partners and families look forward to each year.
Both psychologists stress that healthy celebrations of love focus on thoughtfulness rather than materialism. Sharing experiences, acknowledging one another, and being honest about what each partner wants are central to their advice.