As families prepare to gather for the holidays, advocates are raising concerns about a troubling seasonal pattern on Vancouver Island.
Advocates say there is an increase in family violence, particularly violence against women, driven by heightened stress and pressure during this time of the year.
Although this season is commonly portrayed as joyful, for some women, it can be one of the most difficult and dangerous times of the year.
To find more about incidents domestic violence, reducing the risks and what can be done in case of such emergencies, Sooke News Mirror spoke to Tara Wolff, the executive director of the Sooke Transition House Society.
“It’s absolutely true that there is an increased risk of violence over the holiday season,” said Wolff. “Stress, finances, and substance use all play a role, and family conflict can sometimes spill over into violence against women.”
Transition houses typically see a rise in calls and intakes over the holidays, according to Wolff, as women seek safety from escalating situations at home.
She suggests that prevention and planning are important during this time. She encourages families and women to recognize risk factors early on and plan the holidays realistically. Rethinking travel plans, shortening visits or choosing not to attend gatherings that are likely to increase stress or conflict could help reduce triggering stress or conflicts, according to Wolff.
“If travelling is going to cause more stress, maybe don’t do that,” she said. “Try to really know where your family’s limits are and plan around that.”
Wolff said that since alcohol consumption is frequently linked to conflict and loss of control, the risks can be lowered by trying to organize smaller gatherings, setting up time limits and encouraging non-alcoholic drink options.
For women who may be concerned about their safety, planning is critical not only during the holidays but year-round. Advocates emphasize that leaving a situation early is often the safest choice.
“If conflict escalates, leave immediately,” Wolff said. “You don’t need to try to mediate or calm things down. You can just leave.”
Wolff laid down practical safety planning steps that could help in case of domestic violence.
She suggests getting to know all available exits from a house, keeping a phone fully charged at all times and having a vehicle with at least half a tank of gas in case of a quick departure.
Women are also encouraged to identify a trusted friend or family member ahead of time, someone who can keep plans confidential and provide temporary support if needed.
“Let that person know you’re worried about how the holidays might go,” Wolff said. “Tell them, ‘I might call you.’ That way you’re not alone if something happens.”
She reassured that transition houses remain available throughout the holidays, often operating 24 hours a day. Women in need can call any time and check for space. If a specific location is full, staff will help connect them with other transition houses that may have availability.
Wolff also stressed the importance of contacting emergency services if anyone is in immediate danger. In such cases, 911 should be dialed while the 988 crisis line is also available for emotional support and guidance during moments of distress.
Even if a woman does not leave her home after an incident, Wolff recommends that she seek emotional support afterwards. Organizations offering counselling programs can be reached out to, and confidential help can be accessed, she said.
She also pointed out that since experiencing violence can be traumatizing, it is important to follow grounding techniques like focusing on breathing or being mindful of physical sensations to help regulate the body.
Moving on to the next steps to take, Wolff recommends documenting incidents of domestic violence when it is safe to do so. Writing down what happened, when it occurred, and who was involved can be important if a woman later chooses to report the incident or seek legal protection.
While the topic is difficult, she said it is crucial to talk openly about the risks that can emerge during the holidays.
“This is genuinely a hidden issue at this time of the year,” she said. “People don’t want to talk about it. But for those dealing with violence or serious family conflict, the holidays can be incredibly hard. Bringing awareness to this can help save lives.”
Support workers urge anyone feeling unsafe to reach out for help, and remind women that support is available, they are not alone, and help is accessible even during the busiest and most stressful times of the year.
To find services in your community, visit the Ending Violence Association of B.C. website.